The Vampire's Own Alphabet

A is Anatomised, cut up and pickled
B is for bruises, which shouldn't be tickled
C is Cadaver, greyish and greenery
D is the Devil's Gorge, Satan's own scenery
E will Eliminate, terminate, End
F is the Fiend oft disguised as a friend
G is the Ghost, wraith-like and liminal
H is the Hangman who waits for the criminal
I is the Incubus, riding your nights
J is the Jugular, throbbing for bites
K is the Kite flown to harness the lightning
L is the Lamia, lovely but frightening
M is the Mistletoe, sacred for Druids
N's Nosferatu, who'll sup on your fluids
O is for Orgasm (refer back to I)
P is the Poltergeist, making things fly
Q is the dusky-robed Queen of the Night
R stands for Runes which you never pass, quite
S is the Succubus, sin in your dreaming
T is the Terror that wakes you up screaming
U's the Uncanny you hardly dare mention
V is the Vampire, of sanguine intention
W's Werewolf, all bristling and lupine
X stands for Xena, who'll lay you out supine
Y is the YETI, who's not just illusion
Z signals Zero, and draws our conclusion.

The Vampire's Own Alphabet was written to introduce a panel discussion on horror at the 2003 Durham Literature Festival, chaired by Gail-Nina Anderson. Other participants were Chaz Brenchley, Ramsey Campbell, Simon Clark and Elle Ludkin.